how school obnoxious enough to pmo when im litterally ON HOLIDAY?
Its okay.... there's only one more year to go after this... I genuinely cannot wait to go to uni and be free to hang out with my friends late and do whatever I want :( school is so frustrating because not only do I have to get good grades, I have to socialise with people who I could not care less about. I'm not a mean person but my school demographic is very homogenous and I kind of stick out like a sore thumb. University will give me the opportunity to meet the people I'll spend my life with. Right now, I feel like i'm occupying some kind of liminal space where I have considerably more freedom compared to when I was a child, but its not enough that I can say that Im living life "independently". Getting good grades is one thing. I can do that just fine but its just so draining like the act of going to school itself is the worrrrsssssttttt.
thats partly why I made this website. Its a way I can be myself without the judgement of others. I dont need to worry about being cringe or being mocked. Its just a place for me to go whenever I'm feeling lost or unsure.
this happens everytime things go well for me. I feel so sick recently I have an intense fear of getting sick like im pretty much a hypochondriac atp. But like i feel very weak and tired now adays. I should have never redowloaded instagram but now i have to stay on it bc i reconnected w some friends on it... Life is a prison omfg when these holidays end im going to delete all my social media and lock in so Ican escape this town and live my fairytale life because wtah is this bs ...
also my neck is starting to feel weird pls dont let it be cancer or wtv im so scared im getting ill its not even funny.
